SOU(L)

Well, that's interesting... people are just spending their time being happy, while I'm still here worring. That's something I really would like to understand. I don't blame anyone for having done this or that, the only annoying thing is that I've been hurt and that's it. It really doesn't matter what's going on with me, with her, with him, with them... I just can't hold it. Sometimes I do feel very sad, but not because something, specifically, you know? That's just the way I feel and I cant help it. I guess it's because my friend and my beloved were taken away from my life in a shot, and even having the possibility of coming back, I cannot stand, can barely imagine how would it be, to live with them in this newest condition. I feel sad, feel really sad because she hurt me inside the way nobody have ever done before. I miss the friendship I thought I had with her, but she proved me that she was never so friend of mine as I was for her. Oh, tha...

And so it is, I just want everyone to vanish for a second.... Ontem eu estava olhado uma mesa de bilhar. Sinuca, sabe? É.. isso aí. Os caras reuniram as bolinhas coloridas, bonitas, num molde certinho e lá ficaram. Pô.. achei até legal o formato: várias bolinhas que formavam um triângulo. Aí veio um deles com um taco e deu um tranco que jogou cada uma delas pra um lado. Achei o negócio meio violento, mas logo pensei "esse é o jogo". Que coisa... minhas coisas, meus sentimentos e certezas estavam organizados como as bolinhas antes de começar o bilhar. Daí veio a tacada. Mas que inferno de dor insuportável. "É assim o jogo"... Tá, mas e agora? Tá tudo espalhado e a minha vontade é de não jogar mais. Acho que eu posso encontrar em qualquer objeto do dia a dia uma metáfora pra tentar explicar essa tortura que tô carregando sem querer carregar dentro do meu coração, porque é essa merda desse pensamento que não sai da minha cabeça. Merda, minha vontade é xingar e chutar t...